UPCOMING EVENTS She Rocks calendar release party - Elysium - Thur, Nov 8 | Rachel Loy September 2006 This month was great and very profitable. I feel rich and tired. Not that playing a lot wears me out, but playing a certain sort of gig certainly does. I took my first tour of colleges to Nebraska a couple weeks ago and played gig after gig after gig of where no body wanted to listen. In fact, some audiences seemed embarrassed I was there. This is not necessarily discouraging (I have given the exact same performance to different audiences and they have loved it) as much as draining. I need SOMETHING back from the audience or it feels like a physical workout. But, with these college gigs the money is better than any other gigs I�ve ever had. That makes up for it, in a way. Next time I tour through colleges, I plan on booking bar gigs to give me some performing fuel. I have also made some good progress on my record this month. I�m getting really excited about the whole thing, which is actually a recent development. I�ve had a hard time feeling focused (musically) with my writing and the direction of this record, but with each recording day it�s becoming more clear. This is a huge relief and makes the prospect of the CD release much less daunting. So, this has been a great month on pretty much all levels. I�ve been writing, recording and performing a lot and I feel happy and healthy. YAH! Oh, and I just bought a sparking pink Epiphone Les Paul. My first guitar impulse buy. July 2006 This month has been very rewarding artistically. I suddenly love to write and practice like I haven't in awhile. Unfortunately, this means that my booking/business dealings fall shorter than they did. But, as the wise King Solomon said, there is a time for everything. Carl Thiel and I have been recording quite heavily � we have gotten tracking for most instruments done on 8 songs. I'm SO excited about this record. I was feeling sort of crappy about it (I'm a ridiculously harsh critic of myself), but then I started showing my friends the tracks. A few of them were completely blown away. You know, it's weird to find that it's important for me to have that. It's not like I make music to please others (I obviously like the songs I record, or I would definitely not record them), but I do feel like my music is not doing it's job if it doesn't make SOMEBODY feel SOMETHING. I get so close to it when it gets played and repeated over and over that I lose perspective as to if it makes ME feel anything. But, if I know that it is making others feel deeply, or if it even makes their heads bob and their asses shake, that I'm still on track. So, after getting some feedback on some rough tracks, I feel better. I think I'm doing something right! Funny, I have definitely lost the fun, sparkly aspect of my music. This record is more grown up � and I honestly had no idea this was the case until I bounced it off of people. I don't have the inspiration to write about driving in cars or having a silly crush anymore, but I do have the need to write about the other things going on inside me. Because of that, this record is deeper, a little darker, and definitely more raw. We'll see how it turns out! May 2006 Some people ask me why writing a journal is so hard for me to do (it has been almost 4 months...guilty giggle). Well, I always thought that when I wrote in my journal, people wanted to hear only about how cool and fun it is to be a rock star. I thought I had to act like a popular kid. I thought that if I told y'all that I'm discouraged about my music it would be a downer. Hmmm. Truth is, I love green flowers and sparkles, but when I sit and think and write, I'm not really that. I'm kind of a downer. I despair about my career a LOT and most of the time I feel pretty damn awkward and not that cool. It doesn't mean that I don't LOVE playing music, performing, writing and recording. In fact, when I do that, I forget about how I feel about what I'm doing or, more importantly, what everyone else thinks about what I'm doing (ewww. gross). I can really feel at home when I'm doing what I love. But, most of the time I put a LOT of pressure on myself to be a badass and when I do that, I fall short. And then I feel weird, like I'm posing and that soon everyone's gonna figure me out: I'm not that good. So, to practice this whole honesty thing, here is what happened this month that made it what I call a "learning experience". Half of the people I was expecting to come to my Film Party came (it was fun, and I was SO happy that as many of you showed up as you did, but I prepared for more and lost some money). I got off stage and bawled and took a shot of whiskey and smoked a cigarette (both things that I don't normally do, cause I'm not that ROCK) to calm down. I went on tour, and 3/4 of the shows I played were empty or full of VERY disinterested people. I didn't really win them over...hmmm. I got blown off literally eight times in Nashville and pretty much wrote by myself. Then I went to LA and the same thing happened (however, there were some beautiful moments out there that made the whole trip worth it). Suddenly, I feel like a beggar saying to all my fans and contacts: "Puh-lease like me!" So, now I'm back in Austin at home, trying to figure out how I can make next month better, but all my energy was sucked out by the month of "learning". I DO know that I'm learning and benefiting from the last month more than I can see, because I'm too close to it. I DO know that things will get better and people will be banging down my door again (instead of vice-versa). I DO know that every artist goes through this; even the ones I think are invincible geniuses. It's still hard, though. Even if my brain knows these things, my emotions don't. It's a good thing that I love playing music so much, 'cause it can be so hard that, if it wasn't for that, I would quit. But, I know I won't! That would be WAY worse than going through a tough little month. And that's the honest part of me saying that, not the try-to-look-cool part. April 2006 This month has been a crazy one. Definitely productive, but not relaxed and almost too stressful at times. The DVD shoot was a LOT to put together and a LOT to pull off, but we did it somehow. The director, Bill, was great and my band was wonderful and Eldridge, the sound and recording engineer did a great job as well. I learned a lot� March 2006 I have been feeling great and just planning, planning, planning. My schedule is so relaxed, but I am making a lot of headway. I have the whole crew for the DVD shoot lined up and The AMF team and I are working together to promote the event. I love the Psychobabble poster my team came up with � it�s totally different than the stuff I�ve had before. I like that. I feel like I�m re-inventing myself for the theme of this party and it feels like growth.
This month with as an Incubator Artist has been pretty eventful. I�ve been planning my live DVD shoot and the AMF team has been helping me with promotional ideas. They is a huge well of ideas. It�s really coming together, and I�m so thankful for the funds from the Foundation that will be able to help me with this event and the coming release in October.
January 2006 So, I just got back from Nashville and I had a great time. I met some wonderful people and came to a few important conclusions:
December 2005 This has been a pretty crazy month. I�ve had half the work (teaching and playing) because of the holidays, but twice the necessary money (because of the holidays). I love being a musician for a living, and I don�t usually mind being broke all that much, but now I�m really suffering. Still, I feel okay about my financial situation. I have only a little bit of debt (compared to most my age) and I pay stuff on time (usually), so I think I�m alright! That was actually Captain Positive speaking.
November 2005 This month has been quite transitional in my life. I have been working hard, and keeping up with the business side of things. I recorded, designed and release dan acoustic EP. Life is SO up and down with everything. Right now, music is easy to keep up with. So, like any human being, I keep up with what I have to. I do the work where there is the biggest load first and then I get to the other stuff. So far, so good! I�m getting amazing results.
October 2005 It is a very busy and exciting time for me. This past week I had a huge burst of productivity and decided to release an acoustic EP next month, organize a writing trip and mini-tour to Nashville, and organize a writing/performing trip to LA. I suddenly find myself in a whirlwind of things to do, and I have to say, it feels great. I love being focused, and I also love having a lot of things to focus on. The meetings with [the AMF team] have been a great way for me to just sit down and evaluate all of my tasks. It helps to have someone�s input on whether or not I�m putting my brain and time in the right places. I also had some great meetings with members of the advisory board this month. Very cool guys, with a lot of helpful advice about touring and looking for a manager. I would definitely love to find a manager. The reason I would love a manager, is because, as much as being productive business-wise is exciting, I have not been writing and being creative. I need to do that so badly, but am finding it very hard to focus when writing. Too many other things to do�I suppose that writing my second record will take discipline. This is my goal for November and December: write my second record.
August 2005 So, I just got off tour and I�m trying to get the ball rolling in Austin. My life is so strange � I mean, schedule wise. I never know whether I should spend a whole day on my computer or spend my whole day running around, and I always have a gig at night, not to mention lessons to teach. Needless to say, the ball IS rolling and I am busy again, but the ball is rolling in all different directions and I feel like I�m barely treading water.
July 2005 It is a constant learning process and a love-hate relationship, this whole music-as-a-career thing. I guess I look forward to the day when my worries are different and I don�t have to deal with wondering whether I�m good enough to be successful at it. But, all it takes is one REALLY rewarding night where an audience is captivated and drawn in by my music for me to bounce back and feel great. I guess any business is going to have its ups and downs, but this one happens to be one where the product is�me. According to everything I believe about life in general, I have nothing to loose and everything to look forward to. Keeping my spiritual life healthy makes my business-sense much sharper and happier, so I�m working at making time for that. I am feeling much healthier and more productive this month! I�m also getting excited about my tour, even if I am a little nervous. The main thing I want to accomplish on this tour is just getting acquainted with the lifestyle. I�ve never played gigs in the context of a brand new city, with no prior groundwork being laid. However, after this tour, I will have some groundwork for the next one. I just love seeing myself move towards the goals [the AMF team] and I have set together. I really want to be traveling a LOT while I�m young, and touring is the way to do it. When I get back, I plan on starting to play much more regionally. Ideally, I want to be playing a different city in the region every week, each city once a month. I�m just excited to have fans all over TX, not just Austin. I [love] the great musician community in Austin, though. Last updated on October 4th, 2006 by Nikki Rowling |
